If That's What It Is
by hufflepuffection
Summary: Neville wants nothing more than to find his two best friends when Voldemort is finally dead.
1. The Girl Who Waited

A/N - I don't own this, just the idea. And mind you, I thought of this when I was working and decided to write it.

Can I just talk about how much I love Harry Potter? After reading the books countless times, and watching the movies, and becoming a complete nerd and Potterhead that I am today, I can never thank JK Rowling enough for inspiring me to once again have imagination and use it to write fanfics about what I love.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, and don't forget to leave a review!

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It was over. Voldemort was dead. It was true; good will always win. There would be no more deaths, as long as You-Know-Who is gone.

Neville Longbottom, seventh year Gryffindor, former class klutz, was now known as snake slayer of Nagini. After all of his fellow students had seen him pull the ancient sword of Godric Gryffindor out the raggedy, old Sorting Hat; something only a true Gryffindor could do. They would never look at Neville the same ever again. Not to mention he stood up to Voldemort, himself. Many thinking he'd die, no matter what. But they knew he'd die a newfound hero.

He now sat in the Great Hall with the other survivors. While he brushed ashes off of him from when Voldemort had set the Sorting Hat aflame on his head, many admirers, (mostly girls), were sitting next to Neville, mesmerized at their classmate still clutching the sword in his hand, telling them what he felt as he killed the snake.

After they had settled down, and were talking to others, Neville was looking around the Hall, seeing who was still alive, and who was missing; wishing it was no one who was close to him. The thought of more deaths of the ones he knew, would be too much for him to take. There was no sight of Harry, Ron, or Hermione. He knew they were here somewhere, and would hopefully get a chance to talk with them afterwords.

He spotted the Weasleys huddled together. He knew the loss of Fred was too much for them. Neville felt himself smiling as he stared at Mrs. Weasley. Ginny had told him it was her mother who had killed Bellatrix after she had shot the Killing curse at her daughter. Neville thought he would have destroyed Bellatrix himself if she had killed Ginny. He wouldn't have allowed one of his best friends to be killed by the person he hated the most in the world. He didn't know how yet, but Neville wanted to find a way to repay Mrs. Weasley for bringing his parents justice. For a split second, he had forgotten his parents were at St. Mungos, and that they would remain there for the rest of his life. He half expected to see them standing in front of him smiling and telling their son how proud they were of him. He decided to visit them after he was done helping clean up around the castle.

Seeing his Gran talking to McGonagall, Kingsley Shacklebolt and Flitwick, Neville knew full well she was bragging to them about what her grandson had done. For years, she always seemed embarrassed by him and would scold him every chance she got; but he'd let her have this one moment of happiness to gloat, just this once.

A certain Professor, once Neville had feared for all of his years at Hogwarts was nowhere to be seen. For all Neville cared, Snape was sulking in Azkaban. He did kill Dumbledore after all, the bloody coward. Neville smirked at the thought of a Dementor sucking Snape's soul, and leaving his body to rot in a cell. He hoped to never again see the man who had frightened him, making him feel small and useless.

The strangely satisfying thoughts had left his mind when a glass of Firewhiskey was brought to him, and his two good friends, Seamus and Dean sat next to him. It was no sooner that the three men were joined by Romilda Vane and Hufflepuff, Hannah Abbott, (Neville could swear she was eyeing him hungrily, as she bit her lip), and the two girls sat very closely on both sides of Neville. He was shocked at the contact, he nearly choked on his drink. Both girls, ignoring Seamus and Dean, began to ogle over Neville.

"Hey, Neville", said Romilda, clinging to the young man's robes. He started squirming, obviously uncomfortable with this new kind of attention. He did enjoy it, but personal space is what he appreciated even more. "That was really incredible what you did!", she exclaimed, batting her eyelashes, hoping he would notice her brown eyes.

"Um, thanks", he said, releasing his hand from Romilda's grip. He turned to Hannah, who was also batting her eyelashes, while twisting her hair in her fingers.

Hannah tried her best to smile her sweetest smile. "Would you like to go somewhere bit more private?", she asked, almost pleading.

Neville knew that Hannah was a nice girl, but he barely spoke to her. He wasn't used to girls paying attention to him. He also remembered during his sixth year, that Romilda had been purposely unkind to him, telling Harry that he didn't have to sit with Neville on the train. He didn't but her innocent act for even a minute, as he glared at her. Brushing the girls hands off of him, putting his glass down, he stood up, allowing more ashes to fall off him, landing on the girls.

"Thank you ladies. I appreciate it, but I'd rather spend time with my best friends", said Neville. Trusting the sword to Seamus, leaving Romilda and Hannah looking aghast , he made his way through the crowd over to the Weasleys.

Watching Percy talking to his father, most likely to reconcile. As Neville searched for one Weasley in particular, he was shocked to see a flash of red run towards him. Before Neville could say a word, Ginny had flung her arms around him, hugging Neville very tightly. Hugging her back, he smiled, knowing from when they had gotten separated, he wanted to see her again. They minute they pulled apart, they silently agreed to talk somewhere else away from everybody. Ginny told her parents where she was going. Arthur and Molly were reluctant at first, but seeing she would be with Neville, they had no doubt he wouldn't keep her safe.

Side by side, Neville and Ginny walked out of the Great Hall to what was left of a corridor, noticing and respecting the number of dead bodies lying on the ground. One of them being Colin Creevey; he was small for his age, but he proved to Neville, that size doesn't matter as long as you have enough courage and heart.

The two of them sat down on a stone bench, and felt a slight breeze blowing through their hair. Feeling pain as he sat, Neville moaned as a white, hot burning sensation shot up his back. Ginny didn't have much damage done to her, just a few cuts and bruises. They began talking to each other about Harry, the casualties, and what happened during the war.

"I noticed you were battling Bellatrix too, Ginny. You're really strong", said Neville. Even though she was a year younger than him, she had a power in her, that he would wish for his whole life, but he'd never get it. He got distracted by a small smile creeping on her face.

"Thanks. You've grown a lot yourself. No offense, but you were the last person I'd ever thought would challenge Voldemort. Don't hate me for saying that", she said.

Neville smirked, as he saw her relax seeing he was fine. "Hey, I don't blame you", he said. "Six years ago, I wouldn't have believed it either. But the Hat put me in Gryffindor for a reason. For both of us".

Ginny nodded. "Yeah, I guess we proved ourselves today".

"I always knew you were brave. You fought with us at the Ministry, you helped restart to D.A, and you fought today".

He could tell she was blushing. "I don't think I could have run in front of all those death Eaters, knowing I'd be killed on the spot. The Hat must have known you were braver than me, or it wouldn't have given you the sword. It knew what it was doing". They talked for a couple more minutes until Charlie Weasley had been sent for his sister. After giving Neville another hug, Ginny followed her older brother into the Great Hall.

Being left alone with his thoughts, Neville sat in silence, listening to people's conversations, and realized he still wanted to talk to one more person. His other best friend, the one who helped him believe in himself, more than anybody else ever had.

Neville stood up, and quickly searched for Luna Lovegood.

(TO BE CONTINUED)

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A/N - Remember to review! I hope you enjoyed it!


	2. If That's What It Is

Neville searched the corridors for Luna, stopping along the way to fix parts of wall that crumbled all over the ground. Cleaning the scarlet liquid that was drenched all over the stone floor, Neville did his best not to gag out of respect for the casualties.

The minute he gave up his search and walked back to the courtyard, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw the blonde Ravenclaw girl, wearing her robes, her butterbeer cork necklace dangled around her neck. Just the sight of her made Neville feel the same relief as when he saw Ginny. He could see Luna talking to someone who was sitting on the bridge with her, their legs swinging back and forth over the bridge's edge. When Neville got close enough to see who she was talking to, his relief was replaced by an amount of rage he had felt only once before.

Grabbing his wand out of his robes, ignoring the pain that was already hurting him, Neville ran full speed towards the two teens. As soon as they saw Neville running towards them, they immediately got to their feet, and braced themselves for the angry Gryffindor charging at them. Luna stood in front of the Death Eater, stretching her arms out in front of her and attempted to calm Neville down.

"Neville! It's okay! Don't-", she was interrupted when Neville stood in front of her, making sure the Slytherin boy couldn't get to her, while she continued pleading him to leave the boy alone.

Neville ignored her, and kept his wand pointed at the boy, who now had his wand out. "You stay away from her, Malfoy!", Neville yelled, no longer afraid of Draco, but when it came to Luna, he would do anything if it meant she'd never be hurt.

"Calm down, Longbottom. We were just having a conversation", said Draco, trying to keep his voice calm.

"I'm sure. I'm surprised you're still hanging around. Shouldn't you be at home with the rest of the scum we didn't kill?". Draco's face turned white, and slightly lowered his wand. He looked as though he was lost in thought for a minute, but snapped out of it and put his wand back in his pocket. Neville was shocked at this, but stood his ground.

"You think I'm mourning the people I've feared my whole life?", asked Draco, his voice shaking. Neville never heard him like this before. "You can't imagine what I've seen them do". This made Neville angrier, as he thought of his parents. Taking a step forward as Malfoy took a step back. "CRUC-", began Neville.

"Expelliarmus!".

Neville's wand flew out of his hand and into Luna's. He rounded on her, still not letting Draco leave his sight. "Give me my wand Luna!", demanded Neville. Even though he was face to face with her, Luna didn't back down. She simply kept his wand behind her back, and smiled her usual calm smile at him.

"I'll give it back, once you hear what Draco has to say".

"I don't want to hear what he has to say. He's harassed me all the years I've been at Hogwarts. Every year he's made me look like a fool and an idiot. Why should I care what he has to say?!".

Her face never looked more calm. "You trust me don't you?", she asked, grabbing his hand. He blushed, and his anger had momentarily left his mind, as he stared into her grey eyes.

"Yes".

"Then trust me now. Listen to him", said Luna. She let go of his hand, and turned him towards Malfoy once more.

"Look Longbottom, I never asked for this to happen in my life and I never wanted it", said Draco.

"Well you certainly went along with it, didn't you? Bragging about your parents, your blood status. Well none of that matters now. I didn't see you fighting today. You're lucky you didn't meet the same fate as your aunt".

"Yeah, and you know why?! Because I'm not stupid, I'm sensible. I actually care about my parents enough to make them proud, unlike yours, who are stuck in the loony bin forever". The next thing he knew, Draco was on the ground, trying to get Neville off of him, while tasting a warm liquid that rapidly filled his mouth. Using her wand, Luna froze Neville for a few minutes. Just enough time for Draco to get up and make himself look appropriate once more, as he spat out red.

"I know what Bellatrix did to your parents, but you can't blame me for that!", exclaimed Draco, as he watched Luna get in front of Neville, trying to calm him down once she had lifted her spell off of him.

"You're going to turn out like her, I know it", said Neville, as he wiped away a bit of blood dripping out of his mouth, watching Malfoy pull out a handkerchief from his pocket and dab at his bleeding nose that Neville punched.

"I never wanted this", said Draco, sniffling; he was crying. For the first time in his life Neville, for a unknowing reason genuinely felt concerned that his bully was crying in front of him. He hated he felt that way, but it was who he was and on of the things that made him a nice person; Neville cared about people. And right now, even though he hated it, he actually felt sorry for Draco. Putting his wand back into his pocket, Neville looked at the ground, not wanting to look at anything or anyone. "I never wanted this to be my life. Hated by almost everyone. Sure, yes Longbott-, I mean, Neville".

This made Neville look at the crying teen, for he had never addressed Neville by his first name, just his last and a few other cruel nicknames. "Why should I believe you?".

"Because he wants to change, Neville, can't you see?", said Luna, walking up next to Draco, and grabbed his hand in hers. "And he started by coming to talk to me when no one else would. Now that I look back on it, Draco, you never once teased me. And you've had plenty of chances to pick on the Loony girl". This got a smile out of Malfoy. "I trust him". All Neville could do now was roll his eyes out of annoyance, and was about to say something, but Draco let out a sob and turned his back to them.

"You know something? I know this is over and he's gone but, the things my parents and I have done, those won't go away. The crimes we've committed can and will come back to us, and we can't run from them".

"But you aren't your parents. More particularly your father", said Luna.

"That's true. But even so, all those years I have spent being rude and selfish and horrible to you, Neville, we might have been, maybe just been friends", said Malfoy. Neville still couldn't believe what he was hearing, he was astounded.

"I suppose", was all he could say.

"But you know, sometimes, like today, I don't really want to stay here", said Draco, facing them once more.

"You don't have to stay here to help us clean up the school if you don-".

"No I mean, I don't want to live anymore". Neville and Luna looked wide eyed at Draco. They both understood how he must have been bullied and possibly even tortured at his home while Voldemort was there with him, but neither of them ever thought he would think of such a thing.

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A/N - remember to review!


	3. The Wheel

AN- I don't own this song.

Enjoy

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"Draco, that isn't the answer. Think of all the people you'll hurt if you end your life", said Luna.

"Think of all the people I've already hurt. That Potter, Mudb-, Granger, even that Weasley scum. No offense. Plus you, Longbottom. As a matter of fact, I'll let you do the honors", said Draco.

Neville pitied Malfoy, but couldn't help but glare at him. All those years he made Neville feel worthless. He couldn't believe he was secretly wanting to help Malfoy. "Tempting offer, but that isn't who I am.", Neville said.

Luna gently took Draco by the shoulders. "Yes, Draco you've hurt a lot of people now, but think of all the people you'll hurt in your Wheel."

Draco looked at Neville, hoping he knew what she meant, but merely got a shrug. "What, Luna? I don't have a wheel."

"Of course you do. Everyone does", she said as a matter of factly, her tone filled with slight happiness. "I do, Neville does, and so do you. You just have to learn what you want to do by it. Make the right choice."

Draco was getting annoyed. "And what if I want to end myself? Who would I be hurting? Nobody would care."

"You should care. You matter. I matter. We all do", said Luna, serenely. "Most of the students of Hogwarts always tell me to end my life as well. But I never listen to them. It would ruin and destroy my Wheel."

"What wheel Luna?", asked Neville. "Did you lose it in the fight?"

"Not an actual wheel, Neville. A Wheel."

Seeing as though she was still getting odd looks, she decided to explain herself.

" _I bet you didn't know that the sun took a shine to water,_

 _She drinks up a bit, floats it up to the sky,_

 _Now what she takes from the lake,_

 _Will make her a storm cloud that rumbles and tumbles rain,_

 _From up high, high, high_ ", sang Luna.

The boys still didn't understand, so she continued.

" _It's a Wheel, Draco,_

 _This journey of yours,_

 _Sun to lake to cloud that showers rain,_

 _Back to the lake below,_

 _And you'll ride that Wheel wherever you go._ "

Rubbing his face against his hand, Draco became extremely annoyed. "Luna, I don't understand, what exactly is the Wheel?"

Luna looked completely delighted. "It's life! That's what I call life, a Wheel. I learned it from my mother. That life doesn't have to end if you won't let it!" And she kept on.

" _It's my Wheel,_

A _ripple in water,_

 _Girl to wife to mother to daughter,_

 _Like all my kinfolk,_

 _Come and gone_."

Luna faced them once more. "My mother wouldn't want me to end my life, nor does yours Draco, you'll be hurting your parents, your wife, your children, they're children, and on and on it will go, if you let it.

 _It's you're Wheel, Draco,_

 _A circle in motion,_

 _Boy to husband to father to son,_

 _Like all your kinfolk,_

 _Come and gone,_

 _Can't stop living, growing, changing, then moving on,_

 _Can't stop living, growing, changing, and moving on_ ", finished Luna. Without letting Draco or Neville say a word, she grabbed them by the hands, and led them back into the castle. Draco kept thinking how much Luna wasn't crazy after all.

A few minutes later Luna turned to Draco, looking solemn.

"Live, Draco."


	4. Only Regret

There he was, my son, bright eyed, smiling between me and his mother. He talked about this all morning, how excited he was to finally go to Hogwarts. He reminded me of myself. Granted, now I regret the times I talked of it like it was complete nonsense. But now to see the wonder in Scorpius's eyes was a sight I'd never forget.

"I packed everything for you", said Astoria. She was getting emotional watching her son getting ready to leave. "I know you'll be wonderful. You take after your father, after all."

The familiar sound of the whistle rang as it was almost time to leave the station.

Looking back at my life, I realize just how thankful I am. For half of it I wish I had never happened. But now, seeing what I might have missed makes it all the more precious. Even seeing the Potters and Weasleys made me strangely pleased to see them. I keep my distance of course.

I met with Longbottom and his wife at the Leaky Cauldron before we arrived at the platform. The two of them didn't plan on having children, but Neville decided to take up the job as the Hogwarts Herbology teacher. I expected nothing less from him.

Staring around at the busy station, watching other families wishing the best for their children, I thought of a certain someone I haven't seen in the longest time. I haven't even spoken to her after that night at the school 19 years ago, how I wish she was here now, so I could thank her for saving my life. I'll see if I can find her.

The moment I hugged my son, and looked as he got on the train, found the compartment close to me, and waved goodbye, I felt my heart pounding. I couldn't be more proud than I was. Fondly staring at him as he slowly slipped away out of my sight, I kissed Astoria, told her I'd be back, and walked to the edge of the platform, waving until the train disappeared.

I remembered what changed my life.

 _"It's my Wheel, Luna,_

 _A ripple in water,_

 _Boy to husband to father to son,_

 _Like all my kinfolk,_

 _Come and gone,_

 _Can't stop rowing, growing, changing, then moving on."_


End file.
